The Inbetween

I am in the inbetween.

The place most fear to go, to be.

A place that has no certainty.

No knowing of what’s next, or what is to come.

My instinct is to find my way back. Go back. Get back. 

To the familiarity of the place I was before I landed, unwilling, in the inbetween.

But, I wonder – what is reaching for the past solving?

Even as I step onto a new path, the past becomes rewritten in a way…

The memories shift and change.

They become dim, like a darkened, faded scene.

The ways I moved back then and the words I said,

The way I flipped my hair and smiled,

Become an archive of a time long gone.

An old version of me in chapters that have ended.

Going back would go into yet another unknown, like a wormhole with a destination to a different timeline.

So, why look back when backwards is now as uncertain as forward?

Once you are in the inbetween, there is no going back.

The physics have changed, the people have changed. 

You have changed.

You are a forward moving creature, like a planet in orbit, carrying momentum toward a future you.

The inbetween is a holding place, for the past to be released,

For a new you to have time to integrate in your present self.

For you to embody all that is inside of you, ready and willing to emerge.

And when the time is right, the inbetween starts to become a state of clarity, of definition,

A knowing of one’s heart, mind, and direction.

The muddling mind softens, the sleepless nights of overthinking, the obsessive wanting for direction

Become patience in the unknown, a cocoon of stillness. A solace of silence.

The inbetween is a place that matters, that is meaningful, but is not recognized as such.

Like a dark and lost forest that no one goes to, no one speaks of because of the tales and lore of frightful things that may be uncovered there. 

The inbetween has been misunderstood as a curse, a villain, a monster, an ogre, something to reject, to turn your eyes away from, to escape from as quickly as possible.

Yet, the inbetween does not have to be a frightful place. 

What if you chose to linger there, instead of begging and clawing and crying to get out? Stayed in the unknowing and honored it as sacred space, a friend, a teacher, and a guide.

The inbetween then becomes a safe haven, a place that holds all change in a warm embrace, that ushers in the transformations in one’s life, that allows for infinite possibility to exist before one possibility is chosen.

The inbetween is a magical place of discovery, if you let it be. 

To allow yourself a place to weep, to laugh, to put down the heavy things you’ve been holding and to lighten the load of old patterns and habits that no longer serve your journey, before continuing on to one of the many paths you will soon choose.

A place that was designed to hold you and all you are and all you have been and all you will be.

Every version of you. Every possibility of you.

A sacred space to retreat and to recover.

A sacred space of learning, being shown, and being equipped for the journey ahead. 

The inbetween.

A place of peace. 

A place of rest.

A place that you may find yourself in only a handful of times in your life. 

So. Don’t run away, or try to resist, or leap out before you are ready.

You are meant to sometimes be in the inbetween. 

To know yourself there. 

To gather your energy back from the places it was never meant to go.

To receive the healing, unconditional love of infinite divine.

And, to prepare you for departure from the safety of the inbetween, when the time is just right. 

When the work is done. 

When the layers have been shed and the you that is more you now is ready to move on.

You are not meant to stay here forever, in the inbetween. It’s a temporary holding pattern.

And then, suddenly and all at once, as you step out of the inbetween and onto the new path laid out for you,

The time you spent in the inbetween will become a memory that fades, like any other. 

You will forget its gifts, as you embrace the new you that has the confidence of one who has met the most true version of themselves and decided to never abandon that person again.

When you leave, if you have taken the time to allow the magic of the inbetween to permeate your being, she will leave her imprint of security with you, so that when you visit her again, you will remember to trust that it is right where you need to be.